I recently watched The Odyssey. In fact, it resonated so deeply with me that I watched it twice. As I reflected on the film and on Homer’s epic poem that inspired it, I was struck by how many of its themes parallel my own experience of loss and grief. While Odysseus’ journey is one of returning home after war, grief teaches us that, after devastating loss, there is no true return to the life we once knew.
Life Is Never the Same
After loss, we long to return to the life we had before. Like Odysseus yearning for Ithaca, we desperately want things to be as they once were. But grief changes us. Even if we return to the same places, the same routines, and the same people, we are no longer the same person. Home still exists, but we experience it differently because loss has forever reshaped us.
Loss Is an Unavoidable Part of the Journey
Throughout The Odyssey, tragedy appears unexpectedly. Storms arise without warning, companions die, and carefully made plans unravel. Likewise, loss often arrives uninvited and beyond our control. Once it has happened, it cannot be undone. We cannot rewrite the past; we can only choose how we continue the journey from where we now stand.
The Descent into Hell
One of the most powerful moments in The Odyssey is Odysseus’ journey into the Underworld. Grief can feel like our own descent into darkness—a place we never wanted to enter. Yet within that painful journey, there can also be wisdom. If we are willing to listen, grief can teach us profound lessons about love, life, compassion, and what truly matters.
Endurance Is Enough
Odysseus survives countless hardships not because he always knows what to do, but because he endures. Grief asks the same of us. In our darkest moments, surviving is enough. We do not have to solve our grief or overcome it all at once. Sometimes our only task is to make it through today.
Carrying Our Loved Ones with Us
Odysseus never completely leaves behind those he has lost. Their memory continues to shape his decisions and his journey. Grief teaches something similar: our relationship with those who have died does not end—it changes. We continue to carry them with us, honoring their memory and allowing their lives to remain woven into our own.
Letting Go and Acceptance
Again and again, Odysseus tries to save those he loves. Yet despite his courage and determination, many are lost. His efforts cannot change what has already happened. Grief confronts us with the same painful truth. We replay the past, wondering what we could have done differently and wishing we could undo what cannot be undone.
Acceptance is not approval of what happened. It is the recognition that the past cannot be changed. Only by surrendering to that reality can we begin to find peace and continue our own journey.
A Different Kind of Homecoming
Perhaps the greatest lesson The Odyssey offers those of us who grieve is that the goal is not to reclaim the life we once had. Odysseus does return to Ithaca, but neither he nor his home is exactly as he left it. The journey has transformed him. In much the same way, grief is not a path back to our old life. It is a journey toward becoming someone new, someone who carries both love and loss, who bears scars alongside gratitude, and who learns to live fully while forever remembering those who made us who we are.
Our loved ones may no longer walk beside us, but they continue to travel with us. And perhaps that is the truest homecoming of all: not returning to the person we once were, but finding our way forward with their memory forever woven into the fabric of who we have become.
