Today, I can feel the sun as I sit outside. It is a beautiful Spring day. Days like these bring some peace and rest. This feels amazing, coming out of a tough few weeks.
I usually come on to the Alliance of Hope forum, when I am at a really low place, reading others’ messages or writing my own to feel some support and comfort. I am glad to come on today with a peaceful feeling.
The past few days have been difficult. I stayed up for hours reading the forum, feeling so much longing and sorrow. I reread every email I have from my brother and wished there were more. I did the same thing with pictures. I could hear his voice and feel his presence, and it felt really painful knowing that there won’t be any new moments.
However, it reminded me of endless memories that I have from the past. I will carry my brother with me always. I will use my experience of loss as a learning experience, an experience that can make me more empathetic and understanding. I will find strength and a purpose in life, and my brother will follow me every step of the way. I do not know why this happened, but I must understand I cannot change it now. I can only move forward and give love to others who may be struggling.
I cry while writing this. Longing for my brother is so hard, but I know life must continue, and the best thing that I can do is remember him and cherish what I have in my heart and mind. He will remain with me, in every moment.
I hope everyone on this forum today can feel a little bit of hope and peace, even during such loss and pain.