It’s been almost a year since my sweet, handsome, loving, giving, funny, kind, and compassionate husband took his life from depression. The shock, fright, grief, confusion, and utter disbelief have been unlike any other. I have finally gotten to the point where I no longer shake every day.
I have given great thought as to how I want my life to proceed, and have come up with my own mantra: “IMAGINE THRIVING”
I ordered a necklace with those two simple, yet profound, words on it. It has two meanings for me. One is to imagine how those with mental illness could have possibly gone on to thrive if they had been willing to get help … if the stigma of this illness no longer existed … if more help had been available. The other meaning is personal. It is my goal: To thrive – not just to “survive this”.
Surviving is simply to bear the pain and exist. Thriving means to go beyond the pain and be better. I will thrive – not in spite of what happened – but because of it. I will flourish. It may take me a very long time, but that is my goal. I will take baby steps and inch forward day-by-day. This will not define my life, but enrich it. That is hard to imagine right now but with time will come acceptance, and hopefully peace.
I hope those two words can help others on this incredibly difficult path, to move forward with grace, dignity, and kindness. I have never met any of you but love all of you. You are playing such an incredible role in my healing.