Subscribe to Free Healing Emails for Mothers

Bought Myself an Early Christmas Present
Grief Journey, Holidays, Losing a Spouse or Partner

Bought Myself an Early Christmas Present

In fall and winters past, we would gather in the upstairs family room that has a fireplace and hang out there. We would usually shut off the heat in the house as the fire was plenty warm enough (and we hate forced hot-air heat!). Sometimes, we would camp out on the floor and sleep in front of the fire, but when we did venture back to the bedroom, it was cooooolddddd! We used to try to jump into bed under the covers simultaneously, and if one of us had to make a pit-stop on the way, the other would cry out, “Holding! Holding! Holding!” to call the other to warm up the sheets.

I haven’t had any fires yet this year as I need a fireplace repair first. They are coming next Monday. I will surely cry the first fire I make … this was a nightly ritual for us, and on weekends we would keep the fire burning continuously from Friday night until Sunday night.

Well, regardless of where I set the thermostat now, I have been freezing every day and every night. I cried the other night when I recalled the cries for HOLDING when jumping into the cold sheets.

I mentioned to my sister-in-law (husband’s sis) that I thought I needed an electric blanket, but she told me about her electric mattress pad and claimed it was “the bomb”. Yesterday, I took one of my many Bed, Bath and Beyond coupons and went to buy one. I put it on the bed last night and set it to pre-heat while I was getting bath and bed done with my son. I went to bed shortly after, and ahhhhhhhhhhh… what a warm and snuggly feeling. After my body caught up and was warm too, I shut off my side of the bed and set my husband’s side to low, I’d slide over to that side if I got cold again.

Well, I think it’s the first time I slept through the WHOLE night in over eight months … and deeply and dreamlessly too. Kind of poignant, but I guess that’s part of moving forward, right?

A well-rested Christine

About the Author

Wisdom From Our Community

"Wisdom From Our Community" posts originally appeared on the Alliance of Hope Forum for Suicide Loss Survivors and are reprinted with the permission of the authors. Our online forum transcends time and distance, offering a culture of kindness, hope, and understanding to people who have lost loved ones to suicide. Operating like a 24/7 support group, our forum is supervised by a mental health professional and moderated by a trained team of loss survivors. Members can read and comment, share their stories, and connect with other suicide loss survivors.Read More »