I started a 12-week set of sessions with a therapist about three weeks ago, and I feel she is more of a counselor than a therapist. Because this therapy is specifically aimed at suicide survivors, I finally feel I have been given the space to talk about the suicide of my dad as much as I want. Honestly, I’ve never experienced this kind of openness in therapy before, except during a group therapy session I attended for six weeks, which was amazing.
I’ve always had an underlying feeling that discussing his death was something that therapists (whether traditional or alternative) wanted to avoid, ostensibly claiming it was because I was “not ready.” I find this attitude odd and sometimes very patronizing.
I described the last week before my dad died and how I found him, and I mentioned that I think I probably have PTSD. She was the first therapist to acknowledge this and responded, “Yes, you probably do,” which made me feel so relieved. It relaxed something inside me.
I don’t have faith that this will radically change anything, but who knows?
So far, I’ve realized that just having a little oasis of space where I feel relaxed enough to discuss these feelings without the other person panicking is a massive relief.
We carry the other people’s fear of this as we walk through life with this burden.
Thank you for this wonderful group.
