The Grief Journey:
Linking Past to Present
Someone might wonder: doesn’t thinking about the past just make things worse? Put the past behind you, some would say. Focus on the future. But there is a kind of thinking about the past that is valuable: sifting through our feelings and experiences –studying and investigating thoroughly how we are responding. Observation is a time of noticing and paying attention. Of recollecting. We can acknowledge the good and the bad in our relationship with the person who has taken her or his life. We can take responsibility for examining the basis for what we experience as guilt. We can work to redirect the anger we continue to feel. We can tell ourselves the truth, if we are continuing to think and behave in ways as we are grieving, that are destructive to our lives. We can begin to ask what meaning can be made, even from this terrible event? During Observation, we can explore ways to hold the actions of people who take their own lives. Observation allows us to begin asking what can be gleaned from this experience that can give energy toward a new shape for life.