September marks Suicide Prevention Month, which is immediately followed by Breast Cancer Awareness Month in October. My family and I have personal ties to both, having survived breast cancer and having also dealt with the heartbreaking loss of a loved one to suicide. This prompts an important question: why is one month labeled “Prevention” and the other “Awareness”? Is suicide regarded as preventable in a different manner than cancer?
I have noticed that some organizations, like the Alliance of Hope and The Trevor Project, refer to September as “Suicide Prevention Awareness Month.” This designation acknowledges the complexity of suicide and recognizes that much of the current prevention messaging can be difficult for survivors of suicide loss. I very much appreciate this.
As a survivor, some of the simplistic-sounding messages surrounding suicide prevention are difficult for me. I view suicide as a disease, akin to cardiovascular disease or cancer—conditions that are influenced by societal factors and environmental pollutants.
Can we, as individuals, take steps to minimize the risk of suicide? Yes. Is it possible to prevent all suicide deaths? Unfortunately, I don’t believe that’s achievable. Do we have a collective responsibility to work together to improve our world and reduce the deaths caused by these diseases? Absolutely. When someone pours cancer-causing pollutants into the river, they are responsible for the cancers caused by the contaminated drinking water, and they are also responsible for cleaning up the river.
These are a few things that I would like to share during Suicide Awareness Month:
I have personally struggled with suicidal ideation, and I have also assisted others in managing it in a professional capacity. I did everything humanly possible to save my child from suicide and have spent countless hours listening to the stories of those who have lost their most cherished loved ones to this tragedy. I believe I have valuable insights to offer on this topic.
The complexity of suicide is often overlooked. It’s not always depression. While suicide is frequently viewed as the end result of depression, this is not always the case. Suicide can result from unsupported or unidentified conditions such as autism or ADHD, and in many instances (particularly with child suicides), the decision can be quite impulsive. Suicide deaths can also arise from a harmful medication side effect or other underlying illnesses. Just like chemotherapy, sometimes the intervention is not well-tolerated and may even exacerbate the situation. The reality is that suicide deaths are complex.
Telling people to call 988 is not enough. 988 is a valuable resource, and I am grateful it is available. I encourage people to use it. I love that it is now three digits and that you can text or chat anonymously via a web browser. Sometimes, a nonjudgmental listener can save a life, and putting time and distance between a person and their plan is critical.
However, why are we putting the burden on the one who is suffering to reach out? Do we tell someone with a broken leg who is lying in the street to get up and call an ambulance? Someone who is suicidal is the equivalent of a stage 4 cancer patient. They have a life-threatening medical condition. Who has the burden here? The patient? The doctor? Society? There is no easy or one-size-fits-all answer.
Let’s make an effort to reach in when we can, as early and often as possible. We all have a responsibility to care for one another. Always.
Messages can feel shaming for survivors. Those of us who have lost a loved one to suicide are at higher risk ourselves. We are suffering from significant trauma and grief that is lifelong. I don’t say this to be morose; I say this because it is a reality that is largely unrecognized by society. When, on top of our own trauma, grief, and immense pain, we receive simplistic messages suggesting that if only we had had a conversation with our loved one … or engaged in some other seemingly simple solution … we could have prevented their death, it feels shaming. It feels awful. We would have moved heaven and earth to save our loved ones. Many of us did.
I believe that most resources are insufficient to treat suicidality. Many of our “treatments” focus primarily on short-term safety. We provide support by “holding” individuals and helping them create safety plans, and we offer treatments for depression and anxiety. However, when it comes to chronic suicidality, which affects many people, the available treatments are few and far between.
Many times, the resources that do exist create even more trauma. In recognition of Suicide Awareness Month, I encourage you to research chronic suicidality. Talk to people who live with it. Ask them what it is like. Ask them about the treatments available and whether those treatments have been effective for them. Please speak with the caregivers of those individuals and ask them about their daily lives. Talk to those of us who have lost loved ones to suicide. You might learn something. You may gain valuable insights and come to realize that suicide is indeed a complex issue, and society needs to be taking more varied actions.
With these criticisms above, you might (rightfully) be asking, what would be helpful during Suicide Awareness Month? What would I like to see? I would like to see more of the following:
Stories from attempt survivors as well as loss survivors. We have a lot to offer, having lived through this nightmare and continuing to face its aftermath for the rest of our lives. Survivors can provide hope. We have touched great darkness that many will never understand, and it is also through this experience that we can find some light and a life worth living.
Understanding that suicidal ideation exists on a spectrum. This is something that is not often discussed because we don’t often have open conversations about suicidality, which is something else we need to address. We need open, honest, and non-judgmental conversations. People who are struggling with suicidal ideation need to be able to talk about it.
Campaigns to fund research. We need to know more about what is causing death by suicide in order to lower suicide deaths. We need to fund real research, particularly in the field of brain science.
Support for high-risk groups, including neurodivergent people, LGBTQ+, veterans, the homeless, survivors of trauma, abuse, suicide loss, and other minority groups. There have been many studies on autism and suicide risk, including a large study last year, yet autism is rarely mentioned in suicide prevention materials. Why is this the case?
Recognition of autistic burnout as a significant contributing factor to suicide deaths. That’s essential. It is distinct from depression and requires different interventions.
Recognition that suicide deaths are fundamentally a societal issue. Sometimes, when fish are sick and dying, we need to examine the water in which the fish are swimming. We need to clean our environment, literally and figuratively.
Thank you for reading this. It will take some vulnerability, a willingness to be uncomfortable, and all of us working together to make the world a better place for our children.
