In Remembrance of Steve

Brad is grieving amongst us with little verbiage. Of course Steve’s name comes up frequently and with much love.

However Brad seems to be holding onto a connection between Uncle Charlie’s death and Steve’s. Wondering if they talked about it, collaborated on leaving this world. Brad seems to question the connection in a worrisome way.
We’re all suffering from the loss of Steve, our son, our brother. A very special person indeed.

Brad has feelings and thoughts we may not all share.

We keep an open dialogue. I keep in touch with Brad’s special feelings as close as I can.

Lauren recently accused me of ‘enabling’ Brad. I suppose I do. He’s a sad fellow whom I work diligently with to keep him in touch with home base; a connection with family and the outside world as I experience in the day to day. Mostly by texts and phone calls, meetings in the kitchen. Food and errands are central to our communication.

I work at trying to keep his drinking to a minimum. On a daily basis I’m Brad's only connection to the outside world. I try to keep it real with conversations regarding my day and people I’ve interacted with. Humorously in most circumstance.
His character is night and day between sobriety and a few beers. A couple of pops and he’s his younger self. Confidence, sense of humor, and caring for others is back on track. Complicated as that may be, it’s his connection to reality; his best friend. I don’t deny him that. It’s something that’s taken him a bit too long to realize; he’s now at another level. He’s concerned about his future, his health and what he provides to the world and himself. A turning point I’m happy he’s reached.

It’s been an incredibly long road for him, for his family as well. I think he’s getting there.

Do I question my methods of how he’s gotten to this point? Of course I do. Hopefully it’s been with the least amount of damage. Concerns are high regarding his physical health and, as important, the loss of his family’s regard for him. I pray he can earn both critical factors back to a healthy status.

As his journey progresses, he’s going through a phase of self deprecation which lends itself to isolation. I hope the family can respect that and encourage his worthiness as a person and family member.

I’ve spent many years with Brad in a solo environment. He’s a great person with a wonderful heart. I treasure his existence and pray others will as well. Brad has a journey ahead of him and one I hope he doesn’t take alone. It will make all the difference.