In Remembrance of Kelvyn James (Swope) Hardy

Kelvyn, 

You taught me more about accepting and loving people for the good in them because all people deserved a caring and loving friend than I ever taught you. The greatest gift I have ever had was being your mom. You had a bright blue eyed smile and a heart so genuine, your hugs were bone crushing, big, and full of love. Our life wasn't always easy. I didn't always do things the way I would have now that I've learned more with age, but I did my very best and gave it all I had to provide you with a more stable environment than I had as a child. I always wanted the best life possible for you, consistency, safety, a loving home environment, opportunities to learn and grow and to leave your mark on this world. And, you did, everyone who knew you knew your heart was true. It broke many hearts when you left us. You have cousins, Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, friends and so many family members who were impacted by your life and your death. Your blood relations, your "bonus" family, the family we gained when I remarried, friends, and just about anyone you came into contact with felt a loss on the day you left us. You are missed every single day! I had to learn how to breathe again, I am never going to be the same, losing you from this earthly life very nearly killed me, I am not who I was before, that person died with you. This shell of what is left is trying to go forward, each day, each year, trying to find some way to create a purpose or some meaning out of the loss of your existence here for others to experience the joy that was you. 

How I regret not videoing you every day, not recording your voice more often, not saving every voice mail, I would give up every earthly possession to hear your voice, to hear you tell a joke, laughing so hard through the entire thing that I can't even understand what you're saying, but laughing also, because ih, how your laugh was contagious. 

You served others with genuineness,  returning an elderly woman's cart at the store, shoveling snow in the winter, visiting with elderly people because you knew they were lonely. When you were 9 years old, you read scriptures to an elderly widow because you knew she couldn't see well and missed reading with her husband. 

You were wiser than your years, yet enthusiastic and as energetic as a young child. You had talents that were just developing and your life was just really and truly beginning when it ended. I wish above all else and with all of my heart you could have seen past the pain you were in at that moment, I would give my last breath to have taken your place. The impact you would have left could have changed the world. How I would love to know the man you would be now, it is less than a month until your 27th birthday, many of your friends are now married with children. Three of your older cousins are married with children. You would have been amazing with these little ones, and oh, what a dad you would have made. I would have cherished your children, but it would have been difficult to be able to provide the kind of love you would have for them. It would have been beautiful.  

I am ready whenever The Lord is for me to join you, I look forward to that meeting, that beautiful sound of you saying 'Mom' and the hug I know you're sure to give me.

I'll love you forever, Kelvyn

Love,

Mom