In Remembrance of Ethan Cramer

My words, it seems, have failed, me. How can I possibly summarize the enormity of my love for you and how much helping to bring you into this world changed my life or how terribly your loss has torn my life apart. It can’t be done properly as there aren’t words in existence that seem up to the task; the number of times that I’ve rewritten this attest to that fact. But suffice it to say, that even knowing the ending, I wouldn’t trade a second of my time with you and I would gladly relive it in perpetuity so that I can forever experience the sound of your voice and laugh, feel your presence, just being in the same room with you. Relive taking you to school for the first time, or listening to you share your encyclopedic knowledge of video games and how alive you seemed as you spoke with that beautiful smile beaming on your face; to be able to spend time with you being you, give you a big hug and tell you that I love you. 

You were a wonderful young man and I was so very proud of who you had become and I just don’t know what to do with all of this love that I have for you, where do I give it now? I miss you every second of every day my beautiful son and I just don’t know what to do with myself, I love you Ethan, Dad