In Remembrance of Buck Sexton Sr.

Finding my father was one of the worst days of my life. My Dad was my best friend! I lost my mother also to suicide years ago, she was 32. My Dad held on as long as he could. He had many health issues that were taking his life regardless of his own actions. I will never forget the last hug he gave me 4 days before he passed away, the I love you, and how pale my Dad was. Having two parents who die from suicide is beyond devastating and you never stop loving or missing them. I will forever love and miss both of my parents. I have many memories and I’m grateful for the time no matter what. Mom was very depressed, Dad was determined not to continue suffering. I was with my Dad through every surgery, I made all of his medical decisions and he trusted his life in my hands so when I found him dead from a gunshot wound to the heart from his favorite gun, his 38, I was broken, it was hard. I continue to have anxiety attacks and I already struggle from PTSD. I seen someone from mental health within the first 24 hours. I see a therapist but I haven’t found a support group. My aunt is supportive and tries to be available for me, I see a therapist and I am on a medication that I can use as needed and a sleep medication. Being in public and going around people other than my boyfriend is something I still struggle with doing. I care for myself, I force myself to. I’m not sure where all life goes from here, but I am hopeful that I will eventually heal and learn to live with it.