In Remembrance of Ariel Gourgia Aboody Guterman

My darling angel Ariel... brilliant, sensitive, loving soul. Beloved daughter, sister, granddaughter, cousin, and friend. You touched so many lives... You expressed yourself so deeply in your writings and poems. We will treasure them.

I am so glad for your last 2 years of happiness - moving back to NY - the city you loved. Decorating your apartment, spending wonderful times with your friends, walking and snuggling with Gatsby. I treasure the memories of the week you spent here with our family on my birthday last year. You were so happy. We all believed you had conquered your demons once and for all. You were so proud to get your tattoo "I am found" - rediscovering your love of life after so much sadness and trauma. You started writing your book "I am not Sylvia Plath." I was so grateful to God and to the universe. Thankful for newfound energy, spirit, and love. We were all so grateful and happy to share it with you. We thought it would last.

But it was not to be. My heart is shattered. We are all heartbroken. I have cried oceans of tears. I try to understand, to accept what has happened - to no avail.  But I know you were too fragile and delicate for this harsh world. You struggled and suffered for too many years with anxiety and depression - tormented by these demons, no matter how much you tried to conquer them. Remissions gave intermittent respite and hope. We tried so, so hard. You had so much courage, you were so brave to keep trying... trying everything we could find. I'm so sorry I could not heal you with my love. I'm so sorry I did not comfort you that night. I'm so sorry I could not take away your pain. Your heart hurt. And now my heart hurts. I love you so much.

My darling angel Ariel.... I miss you beautiful smile, your laugh, your kindness, and your love. My precious diamond, my delicate flower. My daughter, my friend. I cherish our happy memories and our special moments together. I was blessed for almost 27 years with the gift of you in my life on this earth. Thank you for your endless love and compassion, for sharing your thoughts and insights, for your hugs and kisses. How can we continue to relate to each other? to communicate? to feel each others love? I will search for these answers... until we can be together again. My darling angel Ariel.

"In the gardens of memory, in the palace of dreams, that is where you and I will meet."