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Lessons from Tears — @5 months

I’m becoming an expert on tears. What I’ve learned:

  1. There are as many kinds of tears in grief as kinds of snow in the Arctic.
  2. You can cry without tears and without sound, just a grimace and an internal shudder.
  3. When you lie on your back, tears leak down your temples and into your ears.
  4. You can look stricken after a cry, but if you wear glasses, no one will notice.
  5. You can get an infection of the eyelids from too much crying. Always carry lubricating eye drops.
  6. The purge of a big cry can bring on a purge from your bladder!
  7. Best places to cry: in the car, going slow or parked; in bed; in the shower; beside moving water; at a place of prayer; in therapy sessions or survivor support groups.
  8. After a really big cry, you feel like you’ll dissolve again at any moment for at least a day or two.
  9. You can move in and out of crying and still smile at pets and babies and kind people.
  10. Tears are a renewable resource. They open the heart and seal the bond with the person you lost.