I’m becoming an expert on tears. What I’ve learned:
- There are as many kinds of tears in grief as kinds of snow in the Arctic.
- You can cry without tears and without sound, just a grimace and an internal shudder.
- When you lie on your back, tears leak down your temples and into your ears.
- You can look stricken after a cry, but if you wear glasses, no one will notice.
- You can get an infection of the eyelids from too much crying. Always carry lubricating eye drops.
- The purge of a big cry can bring on a purge from your bladder!
- Best places to cry: in the car, going slow or parked; in bed; in the shower; beside moving water; at a place of prayer; in therapy sessions or survivor support groups.
- After a really big cry, you feel like you’ll dissolve again at any moment for at least a day or two.
- You can move in and out of crying and still smile at pets and babies and kind people.
- Tears are a renewable resource. They open the heart and seal the bond with the person you lost.
