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Marching Band Blues
Losing a Child

Marching Band Blues

I live in a neighborhood behind a high school. It’s the high school my kids graduated from almost a decade ago.

Periodically, in the fall, I can overhear a home game and have always stopped to listen when the marching band plays. My son played trombone in the marching band. I still have pictures in his room of him proudly wearing his uniform and holding his brass.

In years past, I would hear the band and it would make me nostalgic for those ‘band mom’ days of handing out water and fixing uniforms. Friday night, I heard the band again and broke down.

I listened to the music and remembered how it felt to watch those beautiful kids play their hearts out all those years ago – my own child included.

I cried for the loss of my son. For the loss of never hearing him play another note.

I cried for the kids on the field Friday night and how no one watching with proud eyes can see into the future or what awaits.

And I prayed. I prayed for the health and safety of every child on the field. I prayed no parent watching or listening has to ever feel what a mom standing on her back porch felt listening to a marching band play.

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Wisdom From Our Community

"Wisdom From Our Community" posts originally appeared on the Alliance of Hope Forum for Suicide Loss Survivors and are reprinted with the permission of the authors. Our online forum transcends time and distance, offering a culture of kindness, hope, and understanding to people who have lost loved ones to suicide. Operating like a 24/7 support group, our forum is supervised by a mental health professional and moderated by a trained team of loss survivors. Members can read and comment, share their stories, and connect with other suicide loss survivors.Read More »